This morning during breakfast, the 12-year-old said, “I wish I was a mosquito. I mean, I wish I had a mosquito biting me. Then I could flex and make it explode.”
Me: “I had a mosquito bite me once. I flexed and it died from the sexy.” *flex* *wink*
*blank stares*
Me: “I had a mosquito bite me once. I flexed and said, ‘Hey, mosquito. Do you have tickets to the gun show?’” *flex*
*crickets chirping*
Me: “I had a mosquito bite me once. I flexed and said, ‘Hey, mosquito. Did you hear about the pythons that escaped from the zoo?’” *flex*
*nothing*
Me: “Go get ready for school.”
I don’t even know why I have kids.
