I don’t think this stuff works


I had an early morning delivery following a late night at the shop last night. I consider 8:30 early morning on a Sunday. I consider anything before noon early morning on a Sunday. Not that I’ve ever had nothing to do before noon on a Sunday. I knew I had another long day ahead of me, so I stopped for some coffee on the way home. I sat in bed, sipping on the coffee. We had some time before we had to get started again. After I finished the coffee, I laid down. I don’t know what it says about me, or my potential caffeine addiction, but I started to drift off immediately after having finished it. (I once fell asleep in the middle of drinking one of those Monster energy drinks.)

“Sure. I’ll just sneak in a quick nap,” I thought to myself. I felt the sleep creeping in.

Then I heard something. A constant “whoosh, whoosh” sound. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. It wasn’t one of those heart pounding so hard you can hear it things. It was my pulse making my ear move back and forth across my pillow, causing a vibration against the fabric that resonated back into my ear very loudly. I’ll admit, I listened to it for some time. It was hypnotic. And kind of funny. The thought of how I laid just right for this to occur.

I finally decided 5 minutes of listening to my ear was enough and tried to drift off again. It was at this moment, the sun decided to position itself so it shone directly through the branches of the trees, into my window, right onto my eye. Thanks, sun. You’re a jerk. No sleep for me.

Time to get up, I guess. So now I’m standing in line at McDonald’s. I can actually get breakfast. (After standing in line for a long time. The cost of getting to McDonald’s at 10:15 on a Sunday.) Including another coffee. Not that it will affect me at all.

Maybe it’s time to reconsider my coffee intake.

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