It’s all just happening too fast

I don’t like change.  Change is bad.  Why must things change?

Wednesday started off the same as every other day.  Although, I must admit, it started off slightly better than usual.  I got to park about two streets closer to work than I normally do.  That was nice.  Nothing big, but it was nice.

I get in to work, and instead of getting my usual cinnamon brown sugar pop tart, I got a Hostess artificially flavored raspberry sweet roll.  I didn’t have much choice.  It was in the spot where my pop tart usually was.  I could have opted for the safe strawberry pop tart.  But I was feeling saucy.  Next, I prepared my morning cup of hot cocoa.  Only I noticed that instead of my usual sugar free Swiss Miss, there was a Nestle package.  Fine.  It’s just hot cocoa.  I get to my desk and prepare to consume my tasty and healthy breakfast.  Hmmm.  The hot cocoa is different.  And not a good different.  A "what is this garbage?  It tastes like the package" different.  I was none to pleased.  But I suffered through it.  No sense throwing it away and walking clear across the office to get the Swiss Miss with sugar.  As I drank my swill, I started into the artificially flavored raspberry sweet roll.  They didn’t lie.  It said artificially flavored on the package.  It definitely was.  And I’m not sure what flavor it was exactly that they were trying to artificially reproduce.  It wasn’t raspberry, I’ll tell you that much.  I choked it down.  I’m not going to throw away eighty five cents work of garbage and again have to walk clear across the office to fetch said strawberry pop tart.  That’s a whole fifty feet or so.

After breakfast, I went about my morning.  I brushed my teeth and headed out the door a little before 11:00 to get to my 11:15 dentist appointment.  On my way to the dentist, I noticed gas was $2.63/gallon.  A little high for my taste.  It was higher than the $2.55 of a whole two days ago, but what are you going to do?  A man needs to drive.  I didn’t have time now, so I figured I’d stop on the way back to the office.

The appointment went fine.  A standard six month cleaning/check up.  I had a different hygienist.  She was friendly enough.  No big deal.  She asked if I wanted her or the other hygienist for my next appointment.  Put me on the spot, why don’t you.  I told her it mattered not.  I’m not sure who will be cleaning my teeth.

Now, I’m not sure who all knew I was going to the dentist.  And I’m not sure what they thought was going to happen.  But, apparently, somebody of some importance knew.  And they must have thought it was going to be somewhat consequential in some form.  When I say "somewhat consequential," I mean huge.  On the level of terrorist attacks.  Or going to war.  Or some troops getting taken hostage.  I’m not sure how a trip to the dentist can qualify on the same level as any of those.  But it must have.  On my way back to the office, and stopping at Arby’s to soil my newly cleaned teeth with some tasty roast beef and curly fries with cheese, I passed the gas station where I was planning on filling up.  Notice I said that I passed it.  Merely an hour ago, the price, as I stated above, was at $2.63/gallon.  It had now risen to $2.85/gallon.  That’s a full twenty two cent increase in less than an hour!  What could have possibly happened to make all of the gas stations in town increase their prices that much, and all at the same time?  That’s how I figured that there must have been a leak to the media about my appointment.  My apologies to all.  I did not know that this routine cleaning would have such ramifications.  It seems that my pearly whites effect the oil supply in some manner.  My "beautiful teeth," as commented by my hygienist, yes I forgot her name, directly impact the price of petrol.  I am truly sorry.

The good news: the price has fallen a bit.  It’s back down to $2.72/gallon this morning.  I’m hoping that the more I eat, and therefore the dirtier my teeth get (yes, I brush, but they still don’t stay quite dentist fresh), the lower the price will fall.  I expect it to hit its lowest sometime in early October, as that’s when my next appointment is.  I will be sure to let everyone know when the exact date and time is, so you can all fill up before my teeth reek such havoc on prices again.