The only thing we have to fear is f…I made a list

Presented without comment…(with comments)

Irrational fears:

  • Superglue – It could get your fingers. How do you get them apart?!?
  • Meth labs – Because if they blew up I’d be pissed.
  • Cats – But only live ones.
  • Bunnies – They’re like cats with no common sense.
  • Asthma medication – I could have an allergic reaction that causes my hair follicles to turn into nails.
  • Buying stuff off Craig’s List at a storage locker in the middle of nowhere in the dark from people who want to discuss the Craig’s List murders – It scares me, but at the same time I’m a little disappointed that this isn’t where it happened.
  • Sitting on toilets that are only attached to the wall – What if they fall off the wall? Plus, you’re not allowed to poop in a urinal. You’ll get banned from Target.

Rational fears:

  • Ruptured brake line on the freeway – Because stopping.
  • IKEA monkeys – Their little coats are just too stylish.

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