Warning: May cause crankiness


I like to encourage learning with our 3-year-old. It helps that she wants to know everything. Unfortunately, this means we can no longer spell in front of her. She always asks what I spell. So I tell her. Part of being a responsible parent, I guess. But I fear we are creating a monster.

When she gets tired, she gets cranky. When the wife asks why she’s upset, I used to respond with, “She’s t-i-r-e-d.” When she would ask what I spelled, she would get even more upset, demanding that she’s not tired.

Due to this, I’ve taken to saying things in Spanish. Fortunately, aside from counting, she doesn’t speak very much Spanish. Sometimes, she’ll ask what it means. Most times, she doesn’t. (We are currently watching Handy Manny. Manny said, “Una puerta.” I spent a minute teaching her to say “una puerta” and telling her it meant door. After about the 3rd time we were going through it, she interrupted me. “That’s enough, dad. I’m trying to watch.” Apparently, her desire to learn ends when it begins to interferes with her entertainment.) Unfortunately, my wife’s Spanish is only slightly better than my 3-year-old’s.

Last night, we were out and about. The 3-year-old was crying when we got back to my wife, who was trying to sort out some sort of shirt debacle. She asked what was wrong with the 3-year-old. “Está cansada,” I replied. She just kind of looked at me. It’s her way of asking what that means. I whispered and pantomimed being tired.

I then went on to comment how it’s ironic that cansada (tired) and casada (married) are so similar. “I’m guessing that is intentional,” I remarked. I was midway through my observation when it happened. She whipped her head around. I got ‘the look.’ You married guys know what I’m talking about. The one that says, “You’ll be cansada from sleeping on the couch.”

I’m guessing this means she didn’t find it as funny as I did.

Cinco de Mayo Part Dos


Esta vez en inglés. Porqué estoy cansado.

If you ever have tree stumps in your yard, pay someone to remove them. And pay extra to have them haul away the mulch. Even if you can save like $1,000 dollars doing it yourself. (Like literally $1,000. Pero, hay una razón it is muy caro.)

It is a metric mierda tonelada of trabajo. Y it sucks. Mucho sucko. You will not die, but you will want to. Your corazón will punch you in tu espalda.

Entonces, escúchame. Don’t be a hijo de puta barato. Pay the man. It is worth it. Confía en mí.

Luckily, mi esposa linda is getting dinner y Coronas. She es la mejor.

Yo quiero taco bell.

20110505-080024.jpg